I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
