I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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