we have officially lost it.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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