I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
