i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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