everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
COCAINE IS GR8
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
