the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
