There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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