just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
did i just pee glitter
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
