Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
