Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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