yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
