loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
BRING THE BAGELS
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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