a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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