i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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