What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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