where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
