can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize