Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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