capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
