i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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