he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
