Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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