We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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