you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm both gender and math confused
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
