how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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