i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
