I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize