What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
