In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
