I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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