Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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