A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
