You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
