you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
