you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
