You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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