Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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