I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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