walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
