it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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