Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My liver just had a heart attack.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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