Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just found puke in my bra..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
