was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
this boner is exhausting
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
MIDGETS
????
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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