Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
