I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
