yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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