just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
