the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
A+ Viking dick
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
