he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize