I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
