Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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