At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
