He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
