My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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