All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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