I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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