Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
