I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
