We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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