I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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