Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
