that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't deserve a penis
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
