im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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