her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
