Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
