he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize